So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
