Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
