based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
