just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
