I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
