Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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