Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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