So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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