I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
40s are totally the cure
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
