yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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