I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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