Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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