There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
