You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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