Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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