..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
