My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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