when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
