i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
