btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
