Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
