I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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