I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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