and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
