would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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