All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We need to get me chipped asap
Who died my cat blue again?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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