is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You're a waste of cheezeits
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
