Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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