I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i would punch a child for taco bell
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
