you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
