Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
