this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
