Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
