it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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