He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I got inside last night via doggy door
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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