is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
