Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
MIDGETS
????
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
