First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
