Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
