tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
