Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
