I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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