the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
