She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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