Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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