right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
