oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
