You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
