YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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