the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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