Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
