This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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