This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
