i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
