You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
