i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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